Rolling in the Deep
by AquaRias
Summary: The beach leaves a devastating impact on everyone involved, but perhaps the most impact is the one left on the mind, body and soul of the two most deeply affected by the ending of the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's time to begin the healing.
1. A Fire starting in my Heart

**Rolling in the Deep**

**Summary: The beach leaves a devastating impact on everyone involved, but perhaps the most impact is the one left on the mind, body and soul of the two most deeply affected by the ending of the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's time to begin the healing, put the conflict behind them and start to try to move on.**

**Warnings: Very Eventual Slash (Xavier/Magneto)**

**Inspiration: I think the title makes it obvious.**

**Chapter one: A fire starting in my heart**

_I can't feel my legs._

_I can't feel my legs._

_I can't feel my-_

"Quiet!" Erik snapped, shaking his head. He heard a cough from behind him and swung around to face the teleporter whose expression looked partway between amused and concerned. A deadly glare sent his way had Azazel standing and moving towards the door, departing without a word. They thought he was crazy. And to be honest, Erik didn't blame them.

In the two weeks following the confrontation at the beach he had tried to keep up the appearance that the events hadn't bothered him. That turning his back on what were perhaps the closest things to friends he had ever had had left no impact. That leaving _Charles_, hurt, bleeding and _paralysed_ had not mattered. He wished it hadn't mattered. More than anything, he wished he was the cold hearted leader he pretended to be.

But more than anything, he wished it hadn't happened.

_I'm sorry Charles…I never meant for this to happen._

There was no reply. There never was.

There were cars, pulling in and out. Lots of cars, lots of makes, lots of colours. Lots of people. There were tired people, expecting some kind of routine treatment that never had much of an effect and only served to make them more tired. There were happy people who had arrived after hearing good news, that their loved ones would be going home. There were sad people, whose loved ones hadn't made it. There were lots of people and lots of cars in the parking lot, and Charles almost wished they would stop coming. Almost, because the comings and goings of others at least provided him with some kind of distraction from his own situation.

He sighed and looked away from the window, taking in his surroundings. They hadn't changed – still there was the extremely uncomfortable (he knew, he had been in it for weeks) traction bed and the empty chair. He had no visitors – he had not let anyone visit him since he had first woken up in the unfamiliar place.

Moira had tried in the beginning, but after a few days of being turned away had stopped bothering him for the time being. Hank still tried, and was sometimes accompanied by one of the younger mutants.

It wasn't that Charles was angry with them, or upset at them. He just wanted to be alone. The indignity of being confined to either the traction bed or the wheel chair, the inability to even relieve himself…he would spare them the sight of their former leader as a literal cripple forever if he could.

He couldn't. The doctors had done all they could, there was no fixing his particular problem, and he was soon to be released and sent home. Home, to where Hank, Alex, Sean and Moira were all waiting.

He sighed once more, returning his gaze to the window. The hospital parking lot was at a rare moment of inactivity – all the people were inside and the cars were still. Charles closed his eyes, a hand drifting towards his temple. He would reach out with his powers and check if any of his friends were here…

He stopped himself. No, he would simply watch. And wait. There was no need for his powers anymore…

He was jolted out of his thoughts as the door swung open. His eyes opened to see an orderly waiting with a smile.

"Let's get you back into bed Mr. Xavier." She said brightly, walking towards him. As her arms settled around his waist to lift him out of his chair, he closed his eyes. He could at least save himself the shame by pretending it wasn't happening. Because it wasn't. He was back in the mansion during the period they had had to train, playing chess with Erik and beating him soundly as always. Everything was fine. Everything was fine…

He shook his head, unable to continue the fantasy.

Nothing was fine.


	2. Reaching a Fever

**Rolling in the Deep**

**Chapter two: Reaching a Fever**

Charles' eyes remained fixed on the scenery as the car approached the gates of his estate. It had been a very uneventful drive from the hospital to Westchester and despite his reservations at returning to the mansion Charles would be happy when the drive was finally over. His entire body had begun to ache as it had been known to do after being in the same position for too long and he was eager to stretch his upper body as much as was physically possible for him.

"We are here, sir." The driver announced, shutting off the engine. He came round to his side of the car and opened the door, reaching into help him out.

"I do not require your assistance." Charles said, surprising himself at his own snappish tone. He cleared his throat. "I am sorry, I am just very tired. But I can get into my chair on my own." The driver nodded, sympathy written all over his face.

Charles ignored him, reaching out to grab the armrest of his chair. Once he had a firm grip, he slowly pulled himself across the small gap between the vehicle and the chair. Once his upper body was resting on the chair, it was merely a matter of rotating himself and sliding his lower body across. He shook his head slightly at the ridiculous nature of his thoughts – the fact that getting out of a car had become a complicated logistical exercise that required extreme patience and skill almost made him laugh. Almost.

Once securely in his chair, Charles turned to face the mansion he had never really called home. The driver, satisfied that the poor young cripple would be able to make it to the front door unassisted, started up the car and drove away. Charles wheeled himself towards the doors with a sigh, steeling himself for the reception he would receive upon entry.

He pasted a smile onto his face and knocked on the door – it opened almost as soon as his knuckle rapped on the wood.

"Charles!" Moira was immediately by his side, pulling him into a hug. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too." Charles smiled, beginning to wheel through the door. He was greeted by the sight of Hank, Alex and Sean waiting in the foyer. Hank smiled, walking over and patting his shoulder gently.

"How are you, Charles?" Charles could easily see the concern in his eyes – probably exacerbated by the fact that Charles had refused to see any of them since he had been in hospital.

"I am fine." He lied. "Alex, Sean." He nodded at each of them. "I am glad you are both well."

Sean smiled brightly. "Me too Professor!" Alex nodded in agreement.

Charles cleared his throat. "It is excellent to see you all but I am afraid I am really very tired. I will see you all in the morning, good night." Charles excused himself with a nod, wheeling out towards his rooms.

"Is he really okay? He seemed…weird." He heard Sean ask quietly after he left. There was a slight silence.

"I don't know." Hank admitted, just as softly. "I hope so."

Charles shook his head, pushing them out of his mind. All that mattered right now was getting himself into bed – yet another complicated logistical exercise.

Erik focussed intently on the small object he was carefully threading through his fingers – the old Nazi propaganda coin Shaw had given him so long ago that he had ultimately used to end the man's life. Through the gap between his index and third finger, over his ring finger, under his little finger =

"Erik?" He looked up with a start to see Raven standing before him.

"What is it?" He said tiredly, his eyes drifting back to the coin which had never paused in its course.

"I…I…" She stuttered, sounding incredibly unsure. "I want to go see Charles." She said finally.

Erik looked up. "You do?" She nodded quickly.

"I'm worried about him. He was still in hospital last I heard, and he must be really upset…" She trailed off at the look on his face.

"He is Charles." Erik stated, as if that explained everything. "I am sure he is just fine. If anyone could get through…that, it would be him."

Raven shook her head. "I'm not so sure…" She admitted. "You don't know him as well as I did. He is not as fearless as he pretends to be."

Erik sighed, eyes trained on the coin which had paused above his index finger. "Well, go see him then." He said finally.

"You…you don't mind?" Raven was still unsure.

"You don't need my permission." Erik snapped, his fist closing around the coin. "If you wish to go, then go."

Raven shook her head. "It's useless trying to talk to you when you're like this." She snapped back, leaving the room.

He'd managed to upset her. Again. It seemed to be happening a lot these days...

She wasn't the only one. Azazel and Riptide, while at first eager to join Shaw's killer, were becoming increasingly annoyed at their new leader. He had yet to do anything other than lie low in their temporary base, and his explanations of trying to remain under the government's radar for a while whilst the 'mutant problem' was still fresh news seemed more like excuses than anything else.

Maybe it _was_ time to pay Charles a visit. It would, at the very least, get him away from this depressing underground bomb shelter for at least a small period of time.

"Raven." He called, knowing she would hear him from the other room. She appeared in the doorway looking slightly wary.

"Yes?" She answered, it was clear she was still a little annoyed at him.

"Tell Azazel and Riptide we will be going on a short trip, and that they are not to leave the base."

"Where are we going?" She asked uncertainly.

"We are going to Westchester, New York."

**A/N: This is actually all I have written at this time. Whether I write more is dependent on whether you think it is worth continuing, or if you think it should end here - I am undecided. Let me know you thoughts. AR**


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